I was a single mother almost the entire childhood of both my older kids. It was just me, myself and I. I make my own decisions and I plan our days and activities. But most importantly, I make all the rules and I decide what is good and bad for them. My parents were a big part of my children’s lives. They were their companion, their security blanket and they filled up the missing pieces in the puzzle. However, just like most grandparents they were enablers too and are big spoilers. So being the “good” mother that I am I took it upon myself to be the disciplinarian. And my parents know better than to cross me.
In other words, my two older kids grew up adoring and hating only me. There was no father in the picture so I was their only person. It was only my face that they saw each morning when they woke up; I was the only person they would cry to; It was only my name that they called when they needed some attention or loving; It was only my arms that they wanted around them as they fell asleep and I was the only one by their side during every milestone. It was just all about mommy and them. I admit, It gets overwhelming most of the time but looking back now I would give anything to experience them all over again.
It’s different with my third child. Now that I have my husband, I have someone to share the responsibilities of parenting with. The burden is so much lighter now especially that I don’t have to worry about working and earning money to provide for the family anymore. However, it also means conflicting opinions on parenting and discipline as well as sharing our kids’ love and attention with him especially our little boy’s. Honestly, I’ve been a little jealous…ok I lied…very jealous. Our youngest has certainly become what I can only describe as, a certified Daddy’s boy! He wakes up in the morning and from his afternoon naps looking for his Daddy! As soon as he hears the sound of the door and Daddy disarming the home alarm, he runs to him like he hasn’t seen him in months! And when he finally gets to him, he smiles like a Cheshire cat! And then he attaches himself to him the entire time! You won’t believe the number of times I ached every time he drops me like a hot potato.
On a good day I think it’s cute but honestly I’m always like, “ I take care of you the whole day! You are mine! Why don’t you favor me?!”
My two older kids adore their Daddy too! After all, he’s the one who buys them junk food and treats as well as takes them to all these fun road trips. But when it comes to needing something and all around parenting, I am their go to person. I have their loyalty. So really I get two, he gets one so I should be ok with that. Oh well, I am not.
The other day, on our drive to Clark County Heritage Museum, the little guy was showing us all the wonderful things he saw outside his window. “Mommy, Mommy mountains!” “Mommy, Mommy monster truck!” “Mommy, Mommy trees!” And it occurred to me that every time he sees something interesting when we’re on the road or even just random things he sees when walking, he would call me and not his Daddy. I also have to mention that there are those rare times when he would let me cuddle him as he falls asleep when Daddy is around. You won’t believe how those moments make me so happy! Like I’m the hottest woman in a room filled with ten Thors!!! (no one said I’m normal!) even though I know he would go right back to being a Daddy’s boy in a few minutes.
So as I get up at night to make more milk or to change his leaking diaper and as I deal with his mischief and tantrums or as I tackle child training issues, that’s ok. I know I’m getting the tough part of parenting while my husband works or sleeps. It doesn’t matter. Because no matter how many times he calls for Daddy, I know he still needs me. And you know what, looking at my kids adoring their dad and him loving them the way he does, only confirms that our kids are very fortunate to have such an awesome dad. And for that reason alone, I am counting my blessings.
KC & a truckload of hugs and kisses💋
Sharing is caring...